Have you ever been in that situation where you learn something new, maybe you’ve been to a course, read something inspiring in a book or talked to a friend about some changes they are making to their lifestyle and you think to yourself “Yes! I’m going to do that!” But when you try to implement these changes for yourself in your own home with your own lifestyle and surrounded by the people that you share your time with, the magic of the moment when you first decided that you were going to make a change sort of seems to disappear? You don’t feel they are as ‘on board’ with the change as you’d like them to be, they don’t seem to share your excitement and they might even question why you want to make the change. You feel your enthusiasm start to slip (after all you care about what they think and you turn to them for support), you question your own motives and you find yourself defaulting back to what you’ve always done, until the next time you get fed up enough and decide you want to make a change. Has this ever happened to you?
I’ve shared moments like this with my husband. We have a great relationship, we have been together for 21 years, married for 11 of those and we have twin 4 yr old daughters. We have had many experiences where we engage in activities and adventures together and we have had a few where we have done things apart and without a doubt the experiences that we HAVE shared together are the most profound, memorable and life changing.
In 2014, we both decided that we wanted to give up drinking alcohol, just for 12 months. This was initiated by my husband, but I was happy to jump on board. Many people have trouble with this goal, whether it be to cut out or cut back, and we weren’t sure how we were going to go, but we made a commitment and gave it a shot. Our reason for giving up alcohol was pretty epic, we both decided that in 2014 for were going to train for endurance fitness events. My husband decided he would enter the Worlds Toughest Mudder race, a 24hr obstacle race in America where they run as many laps of an obstacle course as possible in the desert and in a 24hr timeframe (craziness!). And I decided I would race in a Ironman here in Western Australia, a day of consisting of a 3.8km swim, then a 180km bike leg then a 42.2km run. Obviously weekends are pretty vital to train for such events and so for us it simply made sense to cut out the alcohol to give our bodies the best chance to perform and recover as best as possible for these events. At first we were met with some mockery, confusion, hesitation in some social settings. These tended to ease when we were able to share our reason why but never the less, there were moments when we both had to reinforce our own justifications and use determination to stick to our goals. Having each others support was a big factor in helping us each stick to our commitment. We could bounce off each other during those slightly more challenging times, have a laugh about the situation, reflect and sometimes be amused by others reactions..we were in it together and that made it so much more achievable. Long story short we saw through the 12 months, we both successfully completed our races and 7 years later we still don’t drink. We aren’t training at the same level anymore, but we got used to the clear head and energy we gained on the weekends from not drinking that we decided it was far more enjoyable to avoid the alcohol than have it. There might be the occasional celebration where we will have a glass (more so my hubby than me), so we are a little flexible with it but month to month we don’t consume alcohol. We also have 4yr old twins now which we both agree doesn’t bode well with a sore head on a Sunday morning!
In addition to giving up alcohol we have travelled and studied together a lot. Particularly in our studies we found that learning new things together meant that what we gained from the course was far better understood and applied because inevitably at the end of the day we would share our learnings and insights with each other, we would help each other fill in the blanks that we each missed and, because the content of our study was based around psychology, mindset and life coaching, what we learnt about ourselves and each other throughout the course work was far easier to apply back into our lifestyle, because we both ‘got it’, we understood what each other was talking about. After the course had ended, if we found ourselves having moments based on thinking from our pre course mindset, then we were each others ‘voice of reason’ to help steer that person back to a more resourceful and happier frame of mind. Doing our studies together, particularly in this field of personal development was so so powerful. It has been great for us each individually and it has taken our relationship to a whole new level.
So I guess what I’m wanting to share with you here is that when you can share an experience or a goal with someone, your chances of being successful in that change or that outcome are increased. It is the reason why our retreats are now available to couples, so often I would hear from the women who attended the women’s retreat say that they wish they could have done the retreat with their husband because they felt like they weren’t able to share the full impact of the retreat learnings with their partners which, if they could, would make creating some their lifestyle changes a bit easier and that it would be valuable for their relationship together as a couple. And I agreed, which is why there is now an option for couples to come together. Your relationship with your significant other is really important to nurture, great relationships help us feel happy and feeling happy is a big part of being healthy. Many relationships are ending simply due to poor communication and a lack of understanding of one another. The process of ending a marriage is often heart breaking for those involved and if it can be prevented then that is a much healthier outcome. The retreat for couples is something that brings couples together, gives you both an experience to connect with, an experience that is good for your own individual health and wellbeing and good for the ongoing wellbeing of your relationship. For more information on our retreat for couples, simply go to our home page (www.retreats.upliftingpt.com) and look for the dates and locations for our VitalityFit Retreat for Couples.
That’s it from me today, I hope that has inspired you to create some goals and go on some experiences together with your partner. Until next time, be kind to yourselves and each other.
Sharon x
